Combating Perfectionism

Okay, I need to be serious for a moment and I need some help from the rebels.

As some of you may know I'm a full-time student, full-time manager at Walmart, and work as a photographer on the side. I am seriously stretching myself thin but there's not really a point I can shrink back on. Tonight at work I got a coaching that means I cannot promote for a year and my yearly bonus will now be halved. I left $700 out of a register overnight so I understand the coaching. My issue arises from the fact that I'm being such a perfectionist in all aspects that it's hurting my mental health. I'm honestly doing great in life at the moment; I got this promotion, have 89% in my classes (this annoys me so much), and am doing so much more than many my age.

Thanks to my perfectionism I can't take pride in any of this and only see my shortcomings. How would you combat this and what advice would you give me? I'm trying to practice gratitude and looking at the positives but still struggling.

ToxikPH wrote: ↑Sun Dec 12, 2021 2:18 am Thanks to my perfectionism I can't take pride in any of this and only see my shortcomings. How would you combat this and what advice would you give me? I'm trying to practice gratitude and looking at the positives but still struggling.

You need to trust your self-evaluation. You wrote the following - I agree, and I think plenty of others would as well:

I'm honestly doing great in life at the moment; I got this promotion, have 89% in my classes (this annoys me so much), and am doing so much more than many my age.

Personally, I've found it's best to compete against myself and not think about what other people have done or are doing in my field of work. (Not saying you're doing that here. It's good to stop and smell the roses every once in a while!) I also had a problem with perfectionism that caused me to overthink a lot of things and waste so much time figuring out the best way to approach a problem that it eventually prevented me from starting a project in the first place!

I certainly relate to your struggle. I expect perfection out of everything I do, but will gladly extend grace and make exceptions for others when they do not perform to my expectations. I am constantly struggling and working to treat myself like I treat others, and it isn't easy for me at all.

When I was in college I overextended myself and turned hobbies into income sources. I had too much going on and eventually I just got burnt out. I dropped almost all of my clients that I was an independent contractor for and I left my management job for a sales position to alleviate the management stress and take a position that I could easily leave whenever I wanted to. It sort of backfired on me and I was promoted in 6 months from the sales floor to the manager of internet sales and customer satisfaction. This was the first point in my life where I realized how high my standards and expectations of myself were. I took the job with the intention of slacking off, and I did. My performance when slacking off was better than the performance of others, enough to earn myself a quick promotion, but I was still not satisfied with what I was doing and my performance. Unfortunately, slacking off wasn't actually alleviating any of the stress.

I wish I could tell you there was a simple solution, but I still haven't found one. Therapy helps, a lot. Dedicating time for yourself also helps. I schedule blocks of time in my calendar dedicated to an event called "Do nothing and be okay with it".
I also like to try new things, that I may or may not be good at and attempt to be okay with the results. This has yielded mixed results, sometimes it has left me very frustrated and upset; but as I try more and more things I have started to appreciate the knowledge I gained in the doing instead of being concerned with the quality of the end results.

@ToxikPH it is extremely important that you scheduled time for yourself as suggested. You have to train yourself and discipline yourself. However this also includes rewarding yourself when you do well. Therefore you need to take some time to reward yourself for how well you have done and for reaching goals. You must from time to time take time for yourself. If you do not you will burn out. Just like you need proper sleep every day you need Time to yourself regularly. Just doesn’t mean necessarily by yourself unless that’s what you choose, but something that makes you relax and enjoy yourself and put everything else out of your mind for time. If not you will burn out. I am also a perfectionist and I’ve suffered with the same issues you describe. You have to know when to take a break you have to force yourself to take a break. That’s all I can think of at the moment.